A lot of weird $h!t goes down in Hollywood—that's no secret. And, despite the fact that even the weirdest celebrities have massive PR machines behind them, fixing every blemish their reputations might respectively garner, sometimes you can't totally sanitize a creep's creepiness away with even the cleverest rhetoric. So, when Redditor u/SingleFunction223 recently posed the question,
"If the news headline 'Celebrity outed as serial killer' appeared, who would you expect it to be about?"
People had lots of compelling, well-reasoned (and occasionally hilarious) answers. Read on to find out whether your own responses mirror any of our favorites:
1. Armie Hammer
"Armie Hammer."
"The only correct answer. The guy that was trying to convince a woman to have her rib surgically removed so he could bbq it and eat it."
"He lives several houses down from me and a running joke with neighbors is slathering ourselves in bbq sauce and wandering into his yard."
2. Marilyn Manson
"Marilyn Manson. No matter how obsessed I am. If you separate the person from the music, I honestly wouldn’t be shocked in the slightest because of all the shit that’s come out about him"
"I built my entire English vocabulary GCSE test on that dude. Talked about how unfair the media was and established hypocrisy in the media and laid down the facts of how it wasn't his fault, I got a perfect pass on that test and I used to be so proud of it... Then he goes ahead and proves almost everything was right and left my paper looking like a definitive r/agedlikemilk Hes let down so many people its just sick. I'll never forgive him for all the abuse and hatred he's spread."
"From the Rolling Stone article about him: 'The first thing that I thought about him was that he probably got beaten up a lot as a kid,' former 25th Parallel editor Paul Gallotta said in Demystifying the Devil. 'He had a lot of anger and hostility, but he was a very quiet person; you know, the kind that you expect was going to be a serial killer someday.'"
3. Josh Duggar
"Oh, absolutely. Josh Duggar could easily have a few bodies lying around, and given the rumors of his dad taking him along to strip clubs, Jim Bob also. Also, we still don't know why the Bates Family's show was cancelled. At minimum, Gil has covered up massive child abuse in the cult, being on the board of IBLP."
4. Tom Cruise
"Mary Harron, the director of American Psycho said that Christian Bale's performance as Patrick Bateman was in part inspired by Tom Cruise.
'We talked about how Martian-like Patrick Bateman was, how he was looking at the world like somebody from another planet, watching what people did and trying to work out the right way to behave. And then one day he called me and he had been watching Tom Cruise on David Letterman, and he just had this very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes, and he was really taken with this energy.'"
5. John Travolta
"Leah Remini said on her Joe Rogan appearance several years ago that Travolta has a status that allows him to commit murder in the name of defending Scientology.
It's called Kha-Khan.
'When people do start reporting a staff member with a high statistic, what you investigate is the person who turned in the report. In an ancient army a particularly brave deed was recognized by an award of the title of Kha-Khan. It was not a rank. The person remained what he was, BUT he was entitled to be forgiven the death penalty ten times in case in the future he did anything wrong. That was a Kha-Khan. That's what producing, high-statistic staff members are – Kha-Khans. They can get away with murder without a blink from Ethics.... And Ethics must recognize a Kha-Khan when it sees one – and tear up the bad report chits on the person with a yawn.'"
6. Kevin Spacey
"Kevin Spacey. Three of his sexual assault accusers died within eight months of each other and Spacey then posted a Christmas message to his fans urging them that if someone attacks them to 'kill them with kindness' while in character as Frank Underwood."
7. Joel Osteen
"Joel Osteen. I can’t say this feeling is logical at all, I just suspect him of having severed heads in his freezer every time he speaks."
"It's completely logical, the man acts like a monster on camera, and is a monster in real life preying on gullible people looking for comfort from religion. He's disgusting."
8. Mark Zuckerberg (by proxy, since technically robots cannot harm humans)
"I don't think Zuckerberg would ever personally kill someone, he's more the type to have a bad interaction with someone and just say to his assistant "have that man killed" the instant they leave the room."
"initiating kill protocol"
9. Andy Dick
"You could accuse Andy Dick of doing literally anything and I'd probably believe it."
10. Kenneth Copeland
"Kenneth Copeland, televangelist. Someone in his organization knows where the bodies are buried."
11. O.J. Simpson
"Idk why but I get bad vibes from OJ Simpson"
"Who? The Juice? You’re crazy. Straight up most laid back and decent person ever!"
12. Jeffrey Jones
"Jeffrey Jones. I believe he's also got a legal history with underage partners that's landed him on a list for life; Serial killer probably isn't that big of a stretch."
13. Dan Schneider
"That Nickelodeon producer, Dan Schneider I think. I suspect he already is"
"He’s definitely a serial killer of young girls’ psyches"
14. Jeff Bezos
"I think Jeff Bezos hunts people"
"Right but that's just for sport though"
15. Prince Andrew
"At this point in time, Prince Andrew"
"
PrinceMr. Andrew"
The post 15 Celebrities People Say They Wouldn’t Be Shocked To Find Out Are Serial Killers appeared first on The Mother of All Nerds.
15 Celebrities People Say They Wouldn’t Be Shocked To Find Out Are Serial Killers
Source: Pinoy Inquirer News
Post a Comment